Three months since my mom passed away. I have had my downs of disbelief, my ups of trusting God, my in-between of sheer sadness. But through all of it, I feel lucky because in some days, in particular when I am doing something where my mind is not busy, like hanging clothes outside, I can feel her, almost as if I could hear her. I told Marco about it many times. Thou it is hard to explain, to describe, even to myself, imagine to others. It is like if I was split in two parts and each of them are trying to understand how to fit into the other. It is like magic. It just happens. Thou, for this sensation, I thank God, my mom, the universe, nature, and everything! Marco tells me because she lives in me. I know that. But it is hard. Not matter how much faith we have, how much the feeling is strong, it is hard... We are so human!!!
What happened to me on Friday, after a week of feeling lost, unable to share the joy of my artwork and exhibit to my mom, like I did when she was here in this realm, God with her and creation sent me a bird inside the house, just like the week when my mom was passing away. I was in shock. But I was so grateful beyond words. The day was magical! Even the songs that the jazz singer sang, felt as if my mom had chosen her to tell me a few things.
In particular this song: "And I know life is now, I can close my eyes, and feel eternity, is not a long long time for me, oh can you see , is now and here you want to live, the joy your heart can hold, let your eyes behold the beauty inside your soul. Every moment is a gift, as you gently slowly drift away, and your wave your worries and fears behind, and you realized all is well, keep an open mind, love, the little things, live in harmony, this is all you need to make your life complete"
So as you can see, my experience for that day was beyond words but faith.
Sunday late afternoon we went to the beach. I consider it my holy temple! My connection with God, Creation, and everyone that I have loved immensely, and are gone. I was thinking about my mom. I was praying for her energy. Then I decided to pretend I was in her womb as I submerge myself in the blue sea. I held my breath until I couldn't any longer. When I came out, I realized that I am in her. I am in God. She is all in all. This is why she used a part of her energy, and sent me a message. Ethel I know ! So mom thank you! And thank you God, because, you were part of it all.
What happened to me on Friday, after a week of feeling lost, unable to share the joy of my artwork and exhibit to my mom, like I did when she was here in this realm, God with her and creation sent me a bird inside the house, just like the week when my mom was passing away. I was in shock. But I was so grateful beyond words. The day was magical! Even the songs that the jazz singer sang, felt as if my mom had chosen her to tell me a few things.
In particular this song: "And I know life is now, I can close my eyes, and feel eternity, is not a long long time for me, oh can you see , is now and here you want to live, the joy your heart can hold, let your eyes behold the beauty inside your soul. Every moment is a gift, as you gently slowly drift away, and your wave your worries and fears behind, and you realized all is well, keep an open mind, love, the little things, live in harmony, this is all you need to make your life complete"
So as you can see, my experience for that day was beyond words but faith.
Sunday late afternoon we went to the beach. I consider it my holy temple! My connection with God, Creation, and everyone that I have loved immensely, and are gone. I was thinking about my mom. I was praying for her energy. Then I decided to pretend I was in her womb as I submerge myself in the blue sea. I held my breath until I couldn't any longer. When I came out, I realized that I am in her. I am in God. She is all in all. This is why she used a part of her energy, and sent me a message. Ethel I know ! So mom thank you! And thank you God, because, you were part of it all.
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